How to Stay Warm

Easter is around the corner.

The leaves are well and truly falling.

And my nipples are getting pointy before each morning run.

Much like jesus, the cold weather was laid to rest for 3 months and it is now returning to bring new life to our unfulfilled existence

However it has come to my attention that many people out there do not like the cold, infact they suffer from something called "seasonal depression" where the lack of long days and scorching summer sun brings darkness into their lives.

in an attempt to fix this countries serious mental health issues here are three ways you could stay warm over the coming months and beat that morning frost.

#1 Thermos Backpack

Nothing's better than a warm cup of joe on a chilly autumn morning. Using that same logic then a large back pack full of coffee must be even better.

Not a minute will pass by without you jitterying away warming your hands and stomach with that beautifully hot bean juice.

#2 A Sauna Suit

At an affordable price of looking like an absolute moron you could own the equivalent of 10 trash bags on your chest

Like a black car in the midday summers sun, this suit will not only absorb the suns heat but it won't let your own body heat escape.

It's the most perfect and fastest way to collapse from heat stroke.

#3 Merino Wool

Full disclosure the boss told me I had to include this. I really have no idea how "sheeps wool" is meant to keep you warm.

But it is what it is, sometimes you have to pick your battles, even if the corporate powers are ruining my creative vision.

Bills gotta be paid right?

On that sour note list is over